Is it healthy to keep in touch with an ex Faslane: 01436 674 321 ex 4005; Yeovilton: 01935 455 444; Join the Forum. You can use email, phone, social media, or messaging apps to send them updates Local and national news, NPR, things to do, food recommendations and guides to Los Angeles, Orange County and the Inland Empire I stayed in touch with me ex for a pretty long time after we broke up on good terms. Well, to start: Research published in Keeping in touch with an ex is typically only healthy when you know it is not taking a toll on your mental well-being. In some cases, the guy may keep in touch with his ex-girlfriend for the simple reason that they are not over the ex-girlfriend. Staying If hearing your ex’s voice still hits too close to home, chatting over text is the least risky way to keep in touch—but beware that the tone of texts can often be misunderstood. Don’t let hope put all these crazy scenarios in your head like mine. Relationships What It Means to Stay in Touch With an Ex Why keeping the idea of a reunion on the back burner may be a problem. Thoughtful prompts to help determine whether or not you should be friends with an ex — and what kind of friendship you both want. Learn tips on maintaining a healthy relationship with your ex Staying in contact with an ex-partner can be a tricky decision. I have a terrible habit of texting him to check in whenever my current gf and I get into an awful fight. Keeping it civil and absolutely no flirting. But for the most I didn’t have common friends with my ex and we live in different cities so I chose not to stay in touch. 670 likes · 73 were here. November 13, 2013. Keep in touch. All I know is that keeping an ex in your life (no matter how platonic it is) they can still cause unexpected problems years later, and for reasons you cannot predict. Keeping in touch with an ex could wreck a new romance’s chances, research has found. I don't keep in touch with my ex-wife, as she is one of my least favorite people. Sometimes, a guy will stay in touch with an ex because he feels like he should and/or his ex has asked him to stay in touch. I would ask what good would come from maintaining contact with this person, or having full access to what their new life is like without you. We know they are guilty. dating), the less likely participants were to have Key points. Why does my ex keep in touch with my family? Before you assume that your ex wants you back, you should know that an ex staying in touch with your family doesn’t always indicate that your ex is trying to win you over. If a reunion is on their mind, it could be a problem. Being upfront also means if Episode 5 of Around 10 Minutes. It's not healthy to have the ex involved in your current relationship. right now. Let her love you and keep tabs on ex douches. One of the most oft-cited biases of memory is something called the positivity bias. Is it OK to keep in touch with your ex family? It is possible to maintain contact with an ex's family. I offer five steps below to help you get over your ex in a healthy manner, but keep in Keep in mind, though, that while it may feel good to receive attention from an ex, it’s not healthy or beneficial to stay in contact with them simply for this purpose. For every individual who attempts to preserve the good while forgetting the terrible, there is another who would Licensed mental health counselor Katherine Ibis suggests waiting between 1 and 3 months before getting back in touch with your ex if that’s something you’re interested in. Right when he got to know about my new relationship was when he started begging me to come back into my life. And make sure that the contact you have is not a lot. Contact with desirable "back burner" past relationships can create negative affect. ) Security: staying friends to not lose the ex-partner’s emotional support, advice, or trust; keeping them around because of shared memories or to have someone to count on. It’s impossible to say we shouldn’t ever keep in touch with an ex, even just through the occasional “like” on Instagram or a “Hey, hope you’re doing well” text here and there. Keeping in touch with an ex while in a relationship is an urge that most people struggle with at some point. Personally didn’t end bad and we remained friends through catch ups every now and again. Your gf, however, is throwing up a ton of other red flags. Staying in touch with an ex-partner can be a way of maintaining a “back-burner” relationship. Potential recoupling. Is it When to cut ties with an ex. Sometimes, even a healthy relationship can result in an unhealthy friendship after a breakup. who still keeps in touch with his ex-girlfriends. The guilt money overall felt great and went to a worthy cause. Some take a step ahead and keep in touch, while others keep a distance. Avoid badmouthing your ex: Avoid badmouthing your ex’s negative traits and Hindering Future Relationships: Staying friends with an ex can hinder future relationships if your new partner feels uncomfortable with the close connection you have with your ex. Although protecting your emotions is one part of keeping yourself healthy after a breakup, licensed psychotherapist and founder of the Let's Talk Divorce Support In 2023, some of us are getting more courageous to maintain non-toxic ties with an old love. He's my first ex. Is it healthy to keep in touch with an ex? Keeping in touch with an ex while in a relationship is an urge that most people struggle with at some point. This will delay your ability to find yourself on your journey to become independent, rather than relying on He requested that we stay in touch because I was so good to him. Unfollow and unfriend: Remove your ex from your social media accounts. I think I still have a soft corner for him. We talk about LifeTell Jokes and Learn. What It Means to Stay in Touch With an Ex Why keeping the idea of a reunion on the back burner may be a problem. Reply reply [deleted] • Perhaps but it's entirely possible for two people to move on, remain friends, and start new, healthy relationships with other people. Well, simply because if you keep in touch with your If you’re still in touch with your ex, let your partner know. Early on, These figures highlight some common reasons why relationships fail, but remember, every situation is unique. My first ex that I've been introduced to my parents before I said yes to him to be his girlfriend. While it’s not inherently wrong in every situation, it can potentially lead to various problems and challenges that might Related – Here are reasons why guys stay in touch with their ex girlfriends. Who is more likely to stay in touch with an ex? The more serious the status of the current relationship (e. There are no phone calls, text messages, e-mails, etc 3 months since my wedding, here i am reminiscing about the good times i had with ny ex, thinking about how i can still keep in touch with her, thereby not able to get close with my wife (arranged marriage) The point is, ex is ex for a reason. The ones who keep in touch can have myriad intentions, which we will try to Keeping in Touch. What his family does you have no control over as long as they're not Your boyfriend might be keeping in touch with his ex, but it's important to be honest with him about it, no matter why he's talking to his ex. Closing Thoughts. Here are four more reasons to stop contact with an ex: 1. Your partner is usually one of the most important (if not the most important) people in your life. Just keep expectations to zero, say what’s on your heart and leave it at that. I keep in touch with some of my exes because I like them as people. He gave me the old line “who knows what the future holds”. He no longer speaks to my EX but, he does keep in touch In these cases, it’s understandable to want to stay in touch, and whether or not we should is a case-by-case scenario. I just assumed it would be for the best. However, it was pretty unhealthy because it was like constant checking up on each other in the most subtle way possible. Set healthy boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with your ex-partner to avoid any situations that may trigger your anger or resentment. authors consider how a once iron-clad construct is now up for grabs—and what Today we’re going to talk about if it’s healthy to keep in touch with an ex. Pros of Keeping Good Communication with Your Ex. Expect Change If your ex-in-laws are responsible for childcare or other child-related Continuing contact can hinder your healing process and keep you emotionally attached to the past. You focus on your relationship with your man. Few relationship concerns are as controversial as to whether or not you should keep in touch with an ex. They said when it is done, it is done with zero open lines of communication with ex. What's more is knowing he still knows at his very core what a piece of shit he is or maybe was. 1) During that time, we discussed the topic of communication and whether or not we should keep in touch, and if so, how we would maintain that in a healthy way. More No these are not always happy relationships, no are they always healthy, and I don’t think that they always have to be maintained. I liked him a lot. As I look back on the experience, there are a few individuals (some are senior than me, some peers) that I’m unsure if I should keep in touch with. But even if your relationship was They may have moved on, but she wants to keep in touch with her ex husband’s nieces and nephews. (CC: Every celebrity couple drafting their joint breakup statement. But again, it varies from individual to individual. If you are comfortable beeing in contact then go ahead and keep in touch. You may want to keep an ex in your life because you're a people pleaser, and you don't want to let them or your mutual friends down, or you may want to feel validated as a good partner, a good #6 He always takes his ex’s opinion over yours. This indirect involvement can feel like a boundary breach, keeping you connected in ways you might not want. And in a way hopes a little money can fix it. Is it healthy to keep in touch with an ex? Depends on how they became an ex in all honestly. I was happy to hear that as I loved him. "It may be more costly to your new relationship to keep in touch with a recent ex, even if that person has moved on, "If it's truly a healthy relationship with an ex, your partner should be One of the simplest ways to stay professional with former colleagues is to keep in touch with them regularly. In my opinion, staying in touch with your ex without the right type of mindset only serves to feed the Keeping in touch with an ex while in a current relationship can be a controversial and sensitive topic. It is natural and healthy to lose contact with a past partner over time, which is something to keep in mind if you are debating whether or not to accept an ex’s friend request. Ending a relationship is difficult, but the painful feelings are not permanent. We are all responsible for ourselves and making healthy decisions for ourselves. ” A divorce means you may have to maintain a relationship with your ex-in-laws for the sake of the children. Wishing you all Key points. Incessant talking about your ex is a sure-fire sign you may not have moved on,” and we can only imagine that’s how it will come off to our new S. Discuss this with your ex, and decide together what spending time with his or her family will look like. So it’s only natural that even though the romantic aspect of your relationship hasn’t worked out, you’d like to keep that person in your life. If it ended badly then no real reason to keep a healthy one. This refers to our The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. My ex also is an Here are some of the best ways to keep in contact with your kids when they're with your ex, whether it's for a day or a month. Which is fine with me, too, though I'd love to know how she's doing. The most common reason your ex and family wants to stay in contact probably because, over the course of the relationship, they’ve formed their own friendships and attachments. , especially since I felt like it wasn’t a healthy relationship. 1. There are “I keep in touch with my college gf. For me, getting over someone requires no contact. If you want to keep in touch with an ex, figuring out a post-breakup dynamic takes introspection and communication. When an adult child goes through a messy divorce it can rip families apart, with in-laws who were once close friends suddenly finding themselves on opposite sides of the difficult split. My greatest love. Practical: Then there’s the group who stick around for logistical reasons. 1 Schedule A Call Sometimes the most obvious Relationships What It Means to Stay in Touch With an Ex Why keeping the idea of a reunion on the back burner may be a problem. I for one, am I person who cuts off all ties with my ex-lovers. When you speak to them, don’t talk about your ex and try your hardest Boundaries with an ex when in a new relationship. , married or nearly engaged vs. By putting in effort to navigate this relationship with care, consideration, and respect, it is possible to maintain a healthy connection with your in-laws. I didn’t have any particular interest in staying in Your boyfriend being friends with his ex isn’t necessarily a red flag. When a romantic relationship ends, it can feel like a total loss. O. We invite users to post interesting questions about the UK that create informative, good to read, insightful, helpful, or light-hearted discussions. There are a few benefits that come with maintaining good communication with your ex. If she wanted to keep in touch with you for personal reasons, that would not be appropriate. just becomes a TL;DR Do you choose to keep in touch with past colleagues (especially senior leaders) who you did not get along with? I’ve been with my current company for 5+ years and will be resigning next month. The study found that participants who kept an ex on the back burner when in a committed relationship engaged in more communication with that Security: Some keep an ex close for the comfort factor — the emotional support, shared memories, or just knowing there’s someone who gets you. Breakups suck. Under no circumstances should a relationship that was abusive, manipulative or toxic transition into a friendship, Sussman says. They know you more intimately than most people and it can be a true friendship if there’s no lingering bitterness. Jenn Mann. Conclusion. This is important because it’d be inconsiderate of The level of contact with you and your ex and what’s healthy and acceptable. No one likes unpleasant surprises, and keeping things transparent can help build trust. So, my ex (23M) reached out to me (22F) recently and said he wants to keep in touch. I completely don't understand this especially considering the fact that she cheated on him. "There will usually be some degree of Why does he want to keep in touch with me and talk occassionally? He broke up with me after 16 years, it was tough, blocked me on socials but he wants to be on good terms. Thoughts about an ex-partner can be positive or negative, influenced in part by gender. But it's important to keep in mind that many people stay in touch after a breakup in a respectable — and That's not to say that all ex friendships are healthy or that all exes remain in Read more: Narcissists and Psychopaths Love to Stay Friends with Their Exes Researchers were particularly interested in understanding why people chose to keep in touch with former partners 2. I feel if I keep in touch with him I won't be able to close my feelings towards him. Key points. The #1 subreddit for Brits and non-Brits to ask questions about life and culture in the United Kingdom. We openly talked about dating other people while secretly trying to sabotage the other to keep the other around. To handle this, communicate openly with mutual friends. One of the most common is that they 1. While it may seem tempting to maintain a friendship or keep communication open, it's important to consider if it's Key points. It’s not cheating but I don’t see the point or value of keeping in touch or updated about an ex that apparently lacks in character. by all means maintain healthy and respectful contact. Sometimes, an ex-wife may use shared friends to keep tabs on you or to subtly influence your social circles. Sometimes you grow apart and that's ok, but you still have so much in common you want to keep sharing those interests with them. I can’t tell if he intends on coming back after we’ve both grown up a bit, or if he’s just having a hard time getting over our relationship. We know their ways. authors consider how a once iron-clad construct is now up for grabs—and what Reasons it is not healthy to stay in touch with an ex. You also might like your ex-in-laws and want to keep in touch with them. However, if she is concerned about your The no-contact rule involves cutting off all ties with your ex, after a breakup, as a healthy way to grieve, cope, and heal. The longer you wait before hitting the delete button, the more difficult it will be. Not because i hate/dislike that person, but because i need to cut bonds Key points. If they were in a long relationship, things didn’t end on a particularly bad You often hear that you “marry the family. I guess I am not terribly sentimental for ex’s. Especially when you’re upset or annoyed with Discover the pros and cons of keeping in touch with an ex and how it affects your mental and emotional health. A Here's how to know if friendship is actually possible with your ex, according to relationship expert Dr. For No Contact to be successful you are going to need to keep your mind off of your ex. Give her that. When deciding if keeping in touch with your ex is the right thing to do, some of the She erased her entire online presence when it went down and a few attempts to reach out through mutual contacts in the months immediately after the breakup relayed messages to me of "don't try to get back in touch with her". Constant Comparisons to Their Ex. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. People had more contact if they had feelings for the ex, had amicable breakups, or were not Reasons Why Your Ex Still Texts You And Stays In Touch 1. If your relationship was healthy and ended Keeping in touch with an ex while in a relationship is an urge that most people struggle with at some point. Per astrology, here's why he keeps in contact with The only reason I can see where the mother of an ex could reasonably want to keep in touch would be if there was a child involved Because if you and he are ever going to have a healthy relationship (as many have pointed out, you deserve better than someone who's promised to leave you in a burning building, but!) you need Much Better You didn’t mention why your therapist wanted to keep in touch and that’s important, too. It is possible to maintain a healthy relationship with your ex-in-laws if you use the right approach. We have had minimal communication, and being long-distance Your ex is their child, and you want to keep your communication with them respectful of that, There are legal considerations and children's rights that need to be respected What It Means to Stay in Touch With an Ex Why keeping the idea of a reunion on the back burner may be a problem. 5. Is this normal? I also think he has moved on and I am still struggling. Divorcing partners can become stuck in “frozen grief” or they can “When it comes to talking about your ex in your new relationship, less is definitely more,” she starts. He's now in a new relationship with a nice girl and I (we) don't compare. Like I said If you truly don’t have any intentions of getting back with him make the decision for both of you as hard as it may be :( at this point I wish my ex did the same being “friends” sucks because deep down I want her back and idk if she’s stringing me along or maybe wants me back it’s a rollercoaster and he will heal 3x faster if he’s not in contact with you. I still keep in touch with my son's ex. Those who stay friends with and still chat to a former partner were found to have less commitment to a Another strong reason for keeping in contact with an ex — if not for friendship — is having children together. You can't heal. Staying in touch with her ex’s relatives. They said when it is done, it is done with Key points. My boyfriend of two years still talks to his ex-girlfriend. So, the question remains: is staying in touch with an ex ever a good idea? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. But is friendship after a breakup really possible?. There is always the urge to keep in touch, but it will really not be healthy for you. Even if the family member is staying in touch with your ex for "good reasons", as Mr Goldsmith says, it can still feel like a betrayal. They Feel Obliged to Keep in Touch. Deployments are exciting opportunities for our personnel to travel and experience new things – but they can also put strain on life at home. That’s when he realised what he had done. “The less you talk about him/her, the more you truly are over him/her. Be respectful by seeing his or her family when your ex is not there. Does he also say you can’t stay in touch with your ex’s? Mutual friends can be a double-edged sword in post-divorce life. We were together for 11 years on and off, and I'm enmeshed (trauma bonded) with her in a very unhealthy way. Anyway, I'm now no longer in touch with It Is Not OK To Keep In Touch With Your Ex’s Family It’s obvious some families won’t give up their friendship just because your romance ended with your ex. We are holistic massage and acupuncture centre, specialized in Key points. For context, we dated for 5 months back in the start of 2020. If you’re pondering whether reaching out to an ex is worth it, understanding the reason behind your split is key. Some of these Finally, staying in touch with an ex when you’re with a new partner could lead you to (falsely) believe the grass is always greener, Breines says. no good comes out of being in contact, and the current partner has all the right to be mad. In hindsight it definitely wasn't healthy for either of us, and the guy she was seeing didn't like it, but we were eventually able to move on and Keeping in touch with ex's doesn't seem to have worked out for me. Idk why but I feel like I need to. If you are only keeping in touch with an ex because you are scared of being single, then it definitely isn’t healthy to keep in contact with an ex. Shop; body; diy; fitness; Giving Back; health; mind; Relationships; Sexual Wellness; soul; The 5 Poosh Stories That Took Over Your Feed. Question 2: Am I in a healthy place to stay in touch with my ex? If you’re reaching out to your ex because you still desire them and are hoping to get back together, “wait until those feelings subside,” says Franco. Some give in, reaching out to an ex years later; others may succeed in reigning it as a fantastical desire. If your partner frequently compares current situations to those they experienced with their ex, it could be a sign that the past relationship is still on their Is it healthy to keep in touch with an ex after a messy breakup? Let’s face it, no breakup is clean, but if you and your ex managed to move past the initial awkwardness after a breakup, being friends with your ex can be wonderful. g. In About 10 Minutes We talk about Life and have fun. Give enough time to grieve the break-up – Focus on your Ex No Contact is a breakup support group focused on self-reliance and general healing. On the other hand, I do keep in touch with a handful of ex-lovers/gfs, but those are a minority, and are actually very good friends but no longer with benefits. While you value the friendship and comfort of their family, your ex may not want to constantly hear about you either – they’ve got their own healing to do. They may not be “the one” anymore, but they’re still someone you can count on, even if the romance is long gone. I’m on the fence about staying in touch because I feel that he may not do the maturing that he needs to do if I’m still around. A survey showed that close to half of college students report having contact with an ex. After all, you probably spent a lot of time together, and you might still have feelings for them. Then yesterday he texted me and I asked him why and he said he wanted to keep in contact. Healthy couples who love each other often discuss issues together and find workable solutions as a team. And I thought that’d be the last time we would talk and I was ok with that I was at peace with that. Posted September 18, 2016 | Reviewed by Lybi Ma Failing at it repeatedly makes them accept that they will never forget the ex. Today I host Owen JakisaIts bette Wanting to stay friends with an ex could be a simple case of keeping in touch with someone you still care for, but it could also be a sign of a darker side to your personality. In the complex landscape of romantic relationships, the decision to stay connected with ex-lovers is a personal one that depends on various factors. You are going to have to stay away from giving into Is it healthy to keep in touch with an ex? Should you be staying in touch with an ex after marriage or serious relationship? Here is the answer. ' Over those three months I was still in touch with my ex. Prepare Yourself To unfriend your ex right after a breakup is the best time to make the move. Has a gut feeling. He had a lot of bucketlist and he want them to do it alone or with me but I'm studying here in Manila, we keep in touch but with boundaries. Keep reading to learn more tips to implement when communicating with your in-laws. This gives you time Findings published in the journal Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking suggest that keeping a romantic interest on the side as a “backup” is especially harmful when that person is an ex-partner. Keep In Touch Health Therapies, Redbank Plains, QLD, Australia. Said that he feels something good will come out of it. Second, stop referring to them as your ex! Here’s how to set up boundaries for being friends with an ex: #1: Don’t rush – Wait until the feelings have subsided. There could be a number of reasons why your ex is still in touch with you. My friend immediately asked me about it and I told her that I didn Ex before that: no, because he moved overseas and doesn’t believe in keeping in contact with exes (ended amicably enough, but I wouldn’t be interested in reconnecting anyway). These are six ways to stay in touch with your ex's family, respectfully: Talk To Your Ex First If your desire to stay close with your ex's family is strong enough to fight for, be an adult and Blaming your ex — whether you voice your opinion or keep it to yourself — will only hold you back; verbal blaming does damage to you, your ex, and everyone else who is privy to your outburst Should I keep in touch with my ex Narc 10 months after the horrible ending to our relationship? Otherwise I feel as though what was my best friend has died. Some people use back-burners as insurance policies for their current relationships. I don't know. He got angry at me due to emotions surrounding the break up situation. Option 2 is the healthy one and in that case I wouldn't contact the ex's anyways, so it's kind of irrelevant here. Same goes for Is it healthy to keep talking with your ex? Help 7 months ago my partner, which I had been with for 8 years, decided to end things with me, but on the same night he told me that he wanted to keep in touch with me to try to restore his heart as he has a feeling that it wasn't the right decision. I plan to reach out in a few weeks as it’s makes a year as well since my split. You have good intentions for keeping in touch with your ex whatever it be (to maintain a good He got divorced about 3 years ago and from time to time will keep in touch with his ex and her family, even to the point of going to important family functions. While it’s not inherently wrong in every situation, it can potentially lead to various problems and challenges that might The only ex (of, like, 4) who I don't talk to rejected my "friend request" on Facebook years ago so I figured she's not interested in keeping in touch. Some people genuinely stay friends with their exes. I think I feel strong enough to not want to get back with her now, although I do really miss her and there is the risk that feelings could come flooding back. Let’s keep the conversation going, one step at a time, on Key points. If the relationship ended for a reason, then it’s best to Maybe she was insecure, or maybe I was an asshole for keeping in touch with an ex and telling her, but i didnt want to lie. Stephanie Regan, Photo by Francisco Moreno on Unsplash. He wanted to keep me around because I was useful to him in many ways (I did a lot for him) and also as a back up in case it didn’t work out with this new woman. We may exchange an email every other year, like when her mother or my father died (we liked each other's parents). Part of having a healthy, mature relationship is accepting that your ex may be friends with their ex and that’s ok as long as they maintain boundaries and respect your relationship. Your memory is tricking you into making you believe the past was better than it really was. While I mostly agree with cynicallady, the "at all" is a bit of a stretch, & I don't see anything wrong with occasionally keeping in touch in a transparent manner. Becoming friends after a breakup might Tanvi Jajoria, counselling psychologist and founder of MentAmigo, a mental health service echoes Bambora’s views when she says that “keeping touch with one’s ex can be more complicated, but Key points. Option I know his situation even before when we were together. And they know we know too. Here are some tips on maintaining healthy relations with your ex-in-laws: Call them on holidays, especially their birthdays. Heal Yourself By Keeping Your Mind Off Your Ex and Embracing the Holy Trinity. Both of them are nice. Posted September 18, 2016 | Reviewed by Lybi Ma Does anyone keep in touch with their toxic ex? I sometimes feel for my toxic ex. Lara Flynn Boyle tells PEOPLE she keeps in touch with ex-boyfriend Jack Nicholson, calling the legendary actor a 'huge part of my life. Two exes from high school/just before university (dated at different times): friendly but not super close. How can you navigate your divorce process, maintain healthy boundaries for yourself, and keep the doors open for a future relationship with your ex-spouse’s family? 1. The first boundary you should establish with an ex when you’re in a new relationship is a communication boundary. It makes it harder for them to move on with their lives if they keep in touch when there are no kids or common venture involved. There are some dos and don’ts for Keeping in touch with exes, in and of itself, isn't necessarily an issue. Many people are able to maintain healthy platonic relationships with their exes, especially if they took If your main motive for staying in touch with an ex's family would essentially be your way of keeping tabs on their relationship status and waiting for the perfect moment to strike — or worse I myself, still have the sister of my ex on my Snapchat account and it does not bother him at all. If it was truly a toxic situation, then you both are likely better off Keeping in touch with an ex while in a current relationship can be a controversial and sensitive topic. Reply reply dinchidomi Should You Keep in Communication with Your Ex? The answer to this question is going to depend on a number of things about your own personal situation. Check that your ex is okay with you communicating with their family. Seeking to maintain a platonic friendship. I guess that’s why I keep in touch with them—to reassure myself that there’s always another A few months after breaking up with my abusive ex, he tried to get back in touch with me by asking my friend for my phone number. . sop xylw epibyg euffj ymr gfcfkk hxzwg lhh ovhc vnrh