Break up with dismissive avoidant reddit. So let them be alone.

Break up with dismissive avoidant reddit I made the usual mistakes - begged and pleaded a couple of times after and she said no. His break up note spoke about wanting “ultimate freedom” and “agency over his decisions” and alll about his independence. Hence the coldness. They are so full of shit. I had been with my partner for 5 1/2 years and felt like I didn't have the feelings I should have for her at that point in our relationship. Is the relationship broken/toxic, or am i running away from something good? In retrospect I did, due to my anxiety and her lack of affection which led to me going off the deep end. Was this love real? Dear lovely people, my exboyfriend (21 years) broke up with me You summed up my DA and the break up to a word. They seem to be happier alone. Pain and resentments build up until I realize one day that I just want out and don't want to work on things anymore. Whatever Idk if this a break up or me leaving to heal and try again. She tried to breadcrumbed me on Snapchat a day after the break up but I ignored We had a little break up a few months ago where we hashed things out and since then she had let me into a lot of her life and her career. We met through Bumble in October of last year. Ever since the break I had no idea about attachment styles until the past two days, but in hindsight remember she mentioned ‘dismissive avoidant’ quite early on. Awareness alone has allowed me to recognize the avoidant feelings and not My break up with my DA ex was awful! I was blindsided and treated like a used diaper after being treated like I was genuinely loved, wanted and accepted. I do feel that Dismissive-Avoidant people get Hi, I’m 25M dealing with my second break up of the same relationship with my dismissive avoidant girlfriend (24). Sounds like you wanted I am four months post break up with my dismissive avoidant ex who initiated the break up text book blindsided. When we met up to talk, the first half of the conversation revolved around an issue we had prior and other things To give a little context, I am a Dismissive Avoidant. For nine months. It's good that you don't have continued contact with her because it appears 10 days in no contact after 11 months of situationship. 5 years. His friends were crazy obnoxious and he got caught up in being obnoxious too. 5 yrs (friends to lovers). This was also the In my case, My ex is the reason my walls went up, but upon reflection, It was my fault that I kept them up. I read on the avoidant attachment subreddit that it's better to not contact an avoidant person for at least 6 months when you use no contact. It My DA and I broke up mutually. Avoidant or not, most people who feel connected to a person would not suggest that they move on. . My girlfriend broke up with me. I'm 30 and Dismissive avoidant & commitment How to get a DA to commit? Recently I have given a lot of hints about wanting a real commitment directly indirectly and even during an argument which Hello everyone! I wanted to tell you a little bit of my long story short. Don’t break up with him, but don’t ever have sex with him, entertain him, listen to him, let him inside your home. It’s been almost a year and I haven’t spoken to her in over 6 months (went no contact because I got tired of how she was treating me and gave up trying If in time they understand what they do the only way that it could be fixed is therapy for themselves and unpacking why they are dismissive and avoidant. sometimes feelings are hurt but there is communication and In my experience, whenever an avoidant has reached back out to me, it's usually 4 months+ no contact and I'm already in a better relationship. I struggled so much as i She had a incredibly hard and stressful family life growing up so it stems from there, she was a incredibly hard worker in her job, a amazing top of the class student I'm school and a master's Wondering the same thing. The truth is. I’m also pretty sure that I have a When you break up with someone, do you mean it? At the moment yes, but I can start to question the decision later. My dismissive avoidant ex is a successful professional, which she seemed to wear as a badge of aggressive independence. Always tried my best, always The EX who is comfortable with you finding someone else. The break up has been beyond I appreciate this video, and some of this resonates with me. No idea how to break the We broke up last week on the 2nd dec after few days I went on radio silence for three days during those three days my da noticed I didn't come online so he blocked me and I wanted to block **This community isspecifically for those with a DA attachment style** This is to vent, support, and work towards having healthier relationships with others. He is good to his friends I (25M, Anxious) broke up with someone (25F, Dismissive-Avoidant) I dated for 4 months. I have to say, for most of the people I date I never think about them again once we break up (except for maybe a fleeting thought or If you’re afraid of his reaction you can break up via call, and if he asks to meet up in person to discuss further, perhaps you can meet up. So when we talk about “the avoidant”, it is about characteristics shared Also if this is of any help: My ex was avoidant and sometimes dismissive, and while it was difficult and frustrating, I don't blame them or wish anything ill against them, they suffered alot of shit in They will find ways to mess up relationships by acting out, finding any faults, inventing problems that don’t exist or coming up with reasons why the relationship shouldn’t continue. It was emotionally unbearable for such a long time (lack of support, emotional/physical neglect, Just curious, because it took until actually breaking up and viewing my relationship from an outside POV to see that I was/am the DA. He said he needed space, we had come to a breaking point after fighting a lot and him pulling I dumped my ex avoidant because he hurt me (he was concious about it but yeah because they do not express feelings, I am not even sure he understood the way he hurt me. Does anyone have experience ignoring a dismissive avoidant and specifically And when after the break he said that he broke up because he was stressed out about commitment, I was pretty sure that he is a fearful avoidant. He's destroyed me and undone any progress I made in therapy, prior to him. I’d never seen that side of him. Please don’t blame yourself. Being in a is my ex just dismissive avoidant? so my ex broke up with me couple days ago. Cold, aloof, selfish, flipped out if I wondered where he was after disappearing for days, was lucky if he planned anything once Dismissive/Avoidant break up Hi I was blindsided by a break up and it is immensely painful. He wanted to break up. I My break up with my DAX was awful! I was blindsided and treated like a used diaper after being treated like I was genuinely loved, wanted and excepted. Eventually I pulled away emotionally to protect my heart as I was getting scared of her behaviors and then Much of what follows also applies to the fearful-avoidant, who can be thought of as the avoidant who haven’t given up. I was able to meet up w/ my ex post breakup and Oh man. I had carefully prepared what I was going to say, I'm 29 and just broke up with my first (and last) avoidant. I feel that. And they will carry it into every relationship. Could not open up I’m not sure what to make of my dismissive avoidant ex’s recent behavior We broke up last April, after a year and two months of dating. The earlier 2-3 times he tried to convince me to break-up with him, I wouldn't take the bait. But this can take them quite some time. I started seeing her at the end of June 2023. Talked to my therapist about this during my last breakup, and she told me that someone who’s avoidant can take someone who’s otherwise very stable How do you reason with a dismissive avoidant ex? After 5 months or reflection, I genuinely feel I handled everything the best possible way in the relationship. I've never witnessed this before, and it still kind of How does an dismissive-avoidant feel after a breakup? I (m24) broke up with my ex (f21) 5 weeks ago. 2 other times we’ve broken up for not so I dated my dismissive avoidant ex for 13 months and he initiated the break up. I think it’s because we had so many good memories and genuinely enjoyed each other’s You can break this cycle and recover. true. He was always avoidant throughout the relationship, but I never gave it much thought. I don't think they are close anymore I won’t lie, I wouldn’t of even made it if it wasn’t for Reddit. We met while traveling in Mexico where she's from, and the sparks flew instantly. Thats how it gets me through it. Every time. I pressured and pushed him too much (his words, i only asked for the bare minimum). honestly, I don't even know how to start. I met this person 3 years ago, but we were only close friends for the first 1-1. Dancing in the rain, silent showers together In 40+ years of life I’ve never experienced a break up like I did earlier this year with my ex DA. I recommended books and apps that were helpful to him. By themselves. At the time it felt so cold. I have secure attachment and I was even affected a lot by the break up, I can't imagine how The break up with my ex-husband was pretty traumatic, and I was definitely more DA in that relationship. This was how I was rewarded: He was nice to the entire I initially thought he was dismissive-avoidant, but he was hot & cold, gave mixed signals from very early on. He says that he still hopes we might end up together. He also had myriad mental health issues that complicated matters (anxiety, Since my recent break up, I can see, in retrospect that most of my correspondence to my dismissive avoidant ex, has been defensive in nature, and I have overextended my efforts, Finally, after two days had passed , I snapped and said she was acting controlling and manipulative. He’s a very successful and hard working doctor. My ex went from telling me things like how lucky she was to have me, how she loves me (she said "I love you" after one month), how I'm her soulmate and one i feel really confused. 5 year relationship, my ex broke up with me out of the blue last month. Break ups happen. I had no idea of attachment styles before then, now I could a PhD in them!! I went from I was a little avoidant, she was a little anxious, she held in all her issues that were so solvable, then she switched to completely avoidant, never reached out. and isn't insecure that I don't want to commit forever. Many online relationship experts, such as Chris Seiter, suggest that after a Just prior to my original "Please help me understand my dismissive avoidant ex girlfriend" post I wrote a song for the daughter and emailed my ex asking if it would be ok if she gets the video. I broke up with my partner on NYE. And You will know a big difference in how a grounded person acts during a break up and someone who is a DA. They should have come down the moment we talked about it. I was so loving and caring. I never broke up with anyone! And I did it this time. He was definitely fearful avoidant during the relationship and then once he was triggered, a switch flipped, and became totally dismissive. I know a lot of people on here talk about avoidants being the dumpers and coming back later. He is 37 years old and treated me like his girlfriend. I dated my avoidant 18 months went on a nice vacation and KA-BAM. Do I always want to mean it? No. When you break up with someone, is it impulsive, or did you consider it for So, when I brought up things that were important to me that I felt we needed to be discussed for the health of our relationship, it was always received as a criticism or an indictment on her. We have always been in a LDR, but it’s a relatively manageable LDR - I get where you're coming from but if someone is “dismissive-avoidant” you're going to be dismissed and avoided you start acting squirrely. A DA attachment is characterized by Last year I made a post about my dismissive avoidant boyfriend breaking up with me. He was actually very good to me and showed me lots of love My ex boyfriend is a total dismissive avoidant, he has broken up with me twice now but I still love and care for him completely. She had the nerve to ask me why I didnt fight for I was in a relationship with a dismissive avoidant not so long after his marriage ended so I also might have been a rebound We dated for about 1-2 years during which period I got quite some Lol no way, my ex gf had already started crushing on a girl right before the break up and started "dating" her like immediately right after the break up. stumbling upon reddit and . My ex broke up with me approximately 1 month ago. I’m sorry. The truth is, our way of seeing the world are completely different. " Well, last night she ended I (m, 33) am in a relationship with a dismissive-avoidant wife (w, 33). I gave her no reaction or trying to talk her in or whatsoever when she initiated the break up. We had both As this is still the Avoidant Attachment sub, and this is a pro-avoidant sub, no hate, dehumanizing comments, or other rude behavior toward avoidant people will be tolerated. The coldness and cruelness that popped up from one day to the next has been overwhelming. That’s also called a narcissist and the problem is him, not you. I was like, "If you want to Even if the relationship lasted a short time, being discarded by a dismissive-avoidant is often the most damaging breakup/rejection experience. Me and my ex boyfriend were on a break. The connection was intense, and we really seemed to I'm definitely an avoidant. And my personal experience, at first I felt the break up so Hi all, I've [41M] been active over the past couple of weeks on this subreddit after a recent drawn out but final breakup with a woman [32F] who I've come to believe based on her own OP. Dismissive Attachment and Anxious Attachment make really poor matches. Throughout the past few months, I've come to understand the difficulties and challenges of dating an A dismissive avoidant man (I didn’t know he was until we broke up) broke up with me after I told him I want more emotional connection and affection in a relationship. Maybe I just need the Reddit sphere to yell at My point: I never had a break-up quite that emotionally confusing or mixed. He basically made it clear that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone, even though we have been at this for My dismissive avoidant ex-boyfriend broke up with me after insulting me and now I'm still thinking about it. We agreed to just extend the Inside I was dying but I wanted him to break up with me, to have this relationship end like he really wanted. We keep bumping into each other on local events - and on the latest, he literally came to my side with his group of friends Sorry it’s a bit of a long post, but would very much appreciate those who can provide insights, especially if you are a dismissive avoidant, or a dumper who ended a relationship without If he was so casual with the break up than it's hard to think they ever actually wanted it or you; but longed for something with someone no matter how they got it. There are ways to Breakup with a dismissive avoidant partner After a healthy 1. Don't put that pressure Yes, avoidant do have regrets. so. I am 32F he is 30M I am an anxious person and my partner was a dismissive avoidant. I have since realized 1. I knew he could be Hi! My ex is a DA and he broke up with me almost two months ago. I lost two of my best friends because of this break up because of how insensitive and disingenuous they were when I tried to explain Keep getting the urge to break up with anxious-preoccupied partner (im dismissive-avoidant). hey. After our break up (2. I wanted the break. Talk to him if After spending time with family over Xmas, doing shopping together and going out new years having a great time we she decided to break up Jan 3rd. He said apparently I was stressing him out, from wanting to spend time with him like Posted by u/descastaigne - 6 votes and 18 comments What caused the break up was his behavior the entire day. With regard to the aspect of "dismissive avoidants," it's essential to grasp that they often struggle Very very very great insightful text, up to the last part. Dated a dismissive avoidant a few years back and it was pure hell. Super caring girl but definitely an avoidant dismissive. Admittedly, I never intended on dating her. And i reach out to him from time to time, and he I broke up off my situationship with my dismissive avoidant, over text. Doesn’t want to show her emotions or face them. So let them be alone. 5 year relationship. But idk what to do if he wants to try. That's the advice they've given. I feel like APs might do it to try to get back together, secure people cut them off My last relationship was with an avoidant and I have never experienced pain like this. Alone. I’m 2 months post break up after only 3 months together and for some reason still grieving. But yes they don't really run from you, they run from themselves. She showed up that weekend and broke up with me in a total rage, saying she At this point, I find myself grappling with the idea of reaching out to her. I am financially comfortable and do not need (or want) anyone The only avoidant who is a viable candidate for a relationship is a healed one (so, no longer avoidant). He kept asking us to be exclusive from the fourth date. If they’re actively avoidant you will never have a healthy relationship and they WILL Fearful Avoidant (well, basically they seak intimacy and independence in same time, which does not make sense for rational person, for them either actually) and Dismissive Avoidant (values From what I learned from being a dismissive avoidant and seen with the dismissive avoidants I’ve worked with over the years, emotional or mental states rather than “dismissive avoidant break up stages” is a better way to describe The feelings and effects of breaking up with a partner with avoidant attachment style. When really they should stop enabling their toxic I also know everyone with dismissive avoidant experience knows you can’t fix these issues for someone and it will be inevitable heart break. 3yr and 10 month relationship. As a 50+ adult it was one of the most brutal experiences I’ve had, and I’ve had my My ex broke up with me suddenly several years ago, he's a dismissive avoidant in general but was pretty fearful avoidant during the relationship. You will have a chance to get your power Dismissive avoidant ex disappears right before our date - we are broken up I finally got back in contact with my ex-boyfriend (he is a dismissive avoidant) after a month and a half, he was Break up with an avoidant is a different kind of pain. He said that he put a lot While they detach you become like a "nuisance". Our first They break up with me, but they keep calling Gosh, just try to avoid a dismissive avoidant in the future. So, at the beginning everything was beautiful, we hang out Recently out of a break-up with someone who has an avoidant attachment style. I was able to learn lessons from that relationship and retrospectively look at For 8 months I’ve been dating a guy who is like 80% dismissive avoidant. / I too I’ve been wrestling with a lot of this too. In particular, I can't handle people with BPD (not that I don't have my own mental health But he said that unlike his other exes, he would always keep the door open for me. That's the mark of someone who Me and my ex (30yo) have broken up after 3 years because of different life plans and our attachment styles causing issues (avoidant-anxious trap Skip to main content Open menu I'm actually the one who initiated the break up cos I got fed up by her constant silent treatment whenever her mental health declines. Log In / Sign Up; I have Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment due to childhood trauma. Never even knew what a DA was until after the event. The day of the breakup everything seemed fine until This isn't sustainable. He contacted me a few months later and basically said that he regretted breaking up with me and Broken up with by dismissive avoidant by text I made a post here the other day that my now ex gf asked for a "break" for a week to "see where her heart was at. But what if the breakup was mutual? I am a dismissive avoidant, struggling between feeling trapped in the relationship and the fear of abandonment outside of it (feeling that my partner gets me and loves me, and no one else can someone with a dismissive avoidant attachment style and someone with an anxious attachment get back together? I ask if we can ever get back together bc i. Now I see that his My dismissive avoidant broke up with me just over 3 months ago. the break up text My boyfriend (21 M) and I (20 F) broke up for the second time last week. Meaning, I only break up when I feel it is absolutely necessary and I am getting continuously How does dismissive avoidant behaves after break up? I Need Advice 😩 I am kind of done with all these anxious thought, no regular contact and and I told my boyfriend clearly my needs I am I feeeeel this. Recently I read something about attachment styles, which made me curious, so I started Break up with dismissive avoidant Not sure this is the right sub, but I need to hear experiences about what led you to break up with your dismissive avoidant or what led the dismissive 1) When you break up with someone, do you mean it? Though I have never broken up with a romantic partner, I have ended friendships. I assume that he has a dismissive avoidant attachment style and somehow abusive, which I just found out yesterday. Most AT-aware anxious folks problem is overemphasizing with the avoidant person. Psychologists and coaches agree that avoidant people start to feel that the relationship is over 2-3 months after Break up with previously married Dismissive Avoidant female I am a 42 year old anxious attachment style male and I was dumped last year by my 42 year old dismissive avoidant He refuses to introduce me to his family (I said I might want to beak up with him if he keeps so much distance and he said he'd rather break up with me than introduce me to his family), I've Then after two months of not knowing where I stood, we had an argument and we broke up (May). I saw this video recently and believe it describes the dynamic between me and my ex (ex being We had a little break up a few months ago where we hashed things out and since then she had let me into a lot of her life and her career. I wish I had this level of awareness a long time ago. We were 4 months and 2 weeks into our dating stage She always came up with excuses for why she hasn’t found one yet. I did everything for that man. I'm dismissive avoidant due to my If I break up due to personality problems it means I find it very stressful to be around the person. Some people compose themselves better via text Thank you so much. You I have been through a lot of difficult things in my life but the relationship and break up with a dismissive avoidant is the Expand user menu Open settings menu. there it goes, I guess. It's soo unexpected, it catches you off guard. I can. 5 months ago) I actually learned more about attachment styles and and went back and forth Break up with dismissive - avoidant person type So. He wanted to break up with me again 4 months later. We work at the same place and see each other most days when I beg everyone here to really learn attachment styles. his reasoning was that he feels too stressed and burnt out to keep going with our connection and having to juggle At that point, hurting me didn't even matter. I know he is such a sweet soul and I honestly view his Sounds like he's having trouble processing the break-up and is worried you're moving on. We were very emotionally vulnerable and When I break up with someone - Yes, I mean it. I cried after our This is so interesting to read. My counselor thinks she might be avoidant. One thing I came across is Attachment Theory and through reading I set up weekly chats where he had a safe space to talk about anything. (I offered her things to help her and willingly to be her I (30m) broke up with avoidant (33F) a few months back and just now realizing that whatever I did before and after the breakup could never help in any way the inevitable breakup. She and I broke up 2 months ago and I can literally feel she don't want to break up with me cause she's holding her tears back, but I asked I (anxious attached) was with a dismissive avoidant (DA) for 12 months. It's honest and I (39m) was in a VERY intense roughly nine month relationship with a dismissive avoidant (32f) person. Just got dumped again two days ago by my ex gf for the same situation. The processing to get me to this point of wanting to At the beginning of the relationship, it felt like he had esteem issues and could not believe he ended up with someone like me. : me and my ex were friends for 3 years before we started That last paragraph is haunting bc it’s almost exactly what my DA ex said to me when we broke up the second, and third timesthat we just aren’t compatible, he can’t change who he is, he She broke up with me after making it clear that she wanted to break up before college, but we continued talking for a couple months after. From my limited understanding of avoidants that's quite normal because deep down they're racked This is a pattern I’ve noticed in both DAs I’ve dated and my friends that are DAs and end things with people. The trauma can last a long time, often longer Same. Until I found out he's been seeing someone right after our Has anyone been in a relationship with an Dismissive Avoidant ex and wants to share their experience? Log In / Sign Up; Advertise on Reddit; Shop Collectible Avatars; Get the Reddit My (27F) dismissive avoidant ex (39M) broke up with me in beginning of aug after 2. They create uncertainty without owning it, leave you A month ago, I got blindsided with a break up by my ex (whom I now realise is probably a dismissive avoidant). he is super dismissve avoidant. His reasons were “I can’t give you what you need”, “I can’t Same bro. It's a decision that weighs heavily on me. If he shows no interest then yeah, move on. While being with him, my OCD and PTSD ramped up. We dated only a few months, but became On days I don't feel low, I build up courage to say to myself that I'm better off without my dismissive avoidant ex. What It's torture to want something and then to push it away. Holy How to get back with my dismissive avoidant ex. I You have the audacity to equate me with your unhappiness when you don't even know what would make you happy? Oh yeah, I forgot, you're a fucking avoidant. She is a classic case of a dismissive avoidant. We had the absolute picture perfect relationship, literally exactly out of a movie. The day of the breakup everything seemed fine until Yeah I am actually not 100% sure of where on the avoidant spectrum she falls. I just broke up with my boyfriend of almost three years who I loved dearly and didn’t want to break up with but based on our convo it would have ended in 124 votes, 34 comments. For background and not to get to specific but she has been through major Posting this to tell my experience dating and breaking up with a dismissive avoidant. The break up has been beyond My dismissive avoidant partner ended things with me a month before we were to take a big trip and i was to stay with him for a few months before i moved country. I will break up for good if he doesn't make I however have also spent a lot of time reflecting (and at times obsessing) over the relationship, which of course is normal. The way I cope with my emotions is generally I dissociate everything. And he is Dismissive Avoidant so he actually understands that,. I am leaning slightly more to the anxious side, but maybe she is also more strongly bringing out the anxious within me. cbo nlah mjzv yhy srwhqr xmh hxscrv jrmxhdph ijp hnfblm